Mane Problems

Sent May 23, 2008

The farmer didn't like to use a tractor on his small holding. He preferred to have his draft horses pull his plow and wagons. Unfortunately, a group of small birds insisted on forming nests in the horses' manes, which prevented him from hitching the reins properly.

The farmer tried every method he could think of to get rid of the pesky birds. He tried lotions, potions, and notions. He kept the stable colder; he kept it warmer. He went to horse doctors; he went to bird specialists. He called his congressman; he called the Department of Agriculture. He trimmed the manes as much as he could. He tried loud noises, cat noises, and classical music. Nothing would induce the birds to leave his horses alone.

In desperation, he went to an Indian medicine man from a nearby reservation. The medicine man, listening to his story, gave him some vile-smelling yeast extract to rub into the manes. Amazingly, it worked. Within two days, the birds had all fled and the horses were back to work.

The farmer was pleased with this outcome, but he was puzzled with the methodology. He went back to the medicine man and inquired about how a simple extract of yeast was able to solve a problem that many veterinarians and the Department of Agriculture couldn't.

The medicine man replied, "Simple. Yeast is yeast, and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet."