- Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

- Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian.

- The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!

- You get grass stains on your behind after a walk, but never sat down.

- Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist.

- You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

- You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

- Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

- You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

- That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

- Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

- You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

- It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas.